11 Sep 2017

ASP044: Relationships While In Recovery. Developing Mature, Healthy, Balanced Relationships in Recovery

by Melissa Sue Tucker | posted in: Podcast Episodes | 388

How to create healthy relationships while in recovery.

Overview:

In this episode, Dr. Robb and I discuss relationships while in recovery. You’ll hear about developing mature, healthy relationships when you are in addiction recovery.

Some important points that we discuss are:

The three essential entities in a healthy relationship
Defining yourself by your individuality rather than a relationship
The risks and long-term effects of enmeshment
How and why to set boundaries and stick to them
Uncovering our dysfunctional behaviors and starting a healing process
The importance of abstaining from entering new relationships in early recovery

Often individuals romanticize the idea of someone completing them in a relationship. This illusion seems to downplay simple statements such as, “He/she is my other half,” or “I’d be lost without him/her.” These casual, light-hearted statements seem innocent and even playful. There’s something about associating personal individuality with another person that’s not healthy.

Dr. Robb makes reference to Khalil Gibran from a portion of The Prophet regarding thoughts on marriage. An excerpt from this piece is, “For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the Cyprus grow not in each other’s shadows.” It is healthy to grow alongside each other. But entangling our identities can start to strip away from who we are without that person.

Here are a few steps from the episode to help you work towards a healthier relationship while in recovery:

Step 1: Work on yourself

Work on getting yourself together before working on the relationship itself. You can start your personal healing process through introspection. Try to gain an understanding of what your issues are so that you can start your personal healing process.

Step 2: Be vocal and firm about your boundaries

The biggest mistake you can make is expecting someone to figure out your boundaries on their own. Be clear from the start in what is and isn’t ok for you, and stand your ground.

Step 3: Build a solid foundation

A healthy relationship takes mutual love, respect, and care for one another. Listen to one another. Share things together. And allow each other to have solo experiences and growth as well.

Step 4: Show empathy without making someone else’s pain your own

Know when and how to help others without trying to carry the weight of their burdens on your back. Be conscious of when to pull back or say no if something will negatively affect your well-being.

Resources:

Want to work on your relationships while in recovery? Or any of the other topics we’ve covered in this series? If yes, reach out to Dr. Robb & let him know you heard him here.

Connect with Dr. Robb

Email: drrobb@nextstagerecovery.com

Phone: 908-757-4721

Website: www.NextStageRecovery.com

Facebook: facebook.com/nextstagerecovery

Twitter: @RecoverWithDean

This is the 6th in a series of 6 episodes with Dr. Dean Robb. Did you hear the others?